Fulfilled

Since last night I've had an amazing feeling of fulfillment...and I like it! I think what brought it on was a visit to my sister, brother-in-law, neice and new nephew Ryan that I mentioned earlier. It started off a little rocky because my neice Riley hasn't slept in about 3 days because of all the commotion of being at the hospital with the new baby and not being in her normal routine. When Riley doesn't get enough sleep she starts to act a little crazy, like running in circles, screaming, rolling on the floor, random bursts of crying, and temper tantrums...which is totally normal for a 3 year old. Anyway, her craziness started up last night while I was there...and I never really know what to do when she starts acting up so I just sat there and kinda laughed at her. Riley was stressing out my sister and brother-in-law and they had to fuss at her and then spank her to get her to calm down and finally in the bed. As my sister was getting ready to go to bed too I was able to spend some time with my nephew Ryan, who is now 2 and a half days old. It was the first time I really got to hold him and look at him and just be with him.

While I was holding him and he was slowly falling asleep I could hear his breathing patterns change. Listening to him breathe was so cool because it became rhythmic when he finally fell asleep. Breath makes me think of life, I probably relate the two because of different instances in the Bible. So I started thinking about life, and how from 2 days ago my family's life will never be the same. I took a moment to kinda step outside of that place and imagine, I thought about how small Ryan was and how small I felt right then, how small our lives are but how big his impact has already been, I imagined him growing up and all the fun things we'll do together, I thought about my sister and her husband and how they will be changed, I thought about what it would be like one day if I ever have a baby and what it will be like to hold it, I felt consumed in my thoughts of how precious life is. It was a great moment spent with Ryan and with God. I love that I get to share my life with them both. I think these moments are part of what makes life precious and these moments are the ones I will remember and cherish. From that experience last night I have just had an overwhelming sense of satisfaction with my life. I am so blessed. This feeling is so big it's hard to explain, but I think the word that I've found to best describe it is fulfilled.

And today was a great day too, I've been catching up on a lot of sleep that I missed this weekend, classes went well, I got some good test grades back, I learned how to kayak, went to a good lecture for extra credit, and made it to Wesley Foundation. After Wesley Foundation I had an amazing conversation with a friend of mine that's on the Leadership Team. We were able to share a lot of things going on in our lives right now, the good things and the tough things, and then we prayed together. It was nice, I love getting to know people better and building relationships. Like I said, I am so very blessed. And I'm glad to have this feeling of fulfillment and it's all thanks to Jesus for making me whole.